Happy 30th Birthday The Wife! To celebrate I thought it safer to take her out for a meal as a cake at home could be a fire risk, so we went to a little restaurant near Monmouth called The Crown. It has one Michelin Star making it officially the poshest place we’ve ever eaten. Once we’d arrived we were sat in the lounge and offered drinks and the menu to browse. We were given some little cheesy breads (almost croissant-like but not as flaky) with squashed chicken innards (pate) on a stick. After we’d ordered, we were escorted through to our table – only one other couple were in the restaurant when we arrived. Before our starters arrived, we were given a little appetiser in the form of a salmon mousse sprinkled with crispy bits of salmon and white chocolate, covered with a warm sweet corn based sauce. I call this meal ‘poisson-au-vom’… no, I don’t like fish and this course reminded me why I’m a TGI Fridays kind of guy. Then came our starters. Vicky went for Quail, which arrived as a ‘piece’ of quail and a quail scotch egg but I went vegetarian for the remainder of the meal and opted for a butternut squash crumble with truffle ice cream. Here’s the thing – the menu doesn’t actually tell you what you are going to get, it just lists the key ingredients. I’m not sure if that’s a usual thing in a posh restaurant or not, but my dish just said “Butternut Squash, Parmesan, Truffle”… I really wasn’t expecting the truffle as an icecream and I’m still not sure it works, but the crumble was very very good and the thought of a beef burger on the way home was less necessary. For the main course, Vicky had lamb with celeriac. The celeriac was pure comedy – before the main course arrived, our waitress brought out a little pastry parcel and placed it on our table. She then explained that the celeriac had been baked in a salt-bread parcel to infuse the flavours and make it very aromatic… the parcel was cut open in front of us before being whisked back in to the kitchen to be plated with the rest of the meal. I opted for “Chestnuts, Parmesan, Peppers”… which arrived as the best risotto in the world ever bar none – mum you’d have loved it. If I could have licked the plate I would, but I just made do with a small piece of posh bread I’d been given. Now for dessert….. no! Not dessert… we were treated to pre-dessert, yes! PRE-DESSERT!!!!! Awesome invention, I think the world would be a better place if we all ate more Pre-Desserts. Upon our table rested the world’s tiniest dessert ever. Two small pieces of banana panacotta, one in biscuit crumbs, a small melon-scoop sized ball of vanilla icecream, some sprinkled crushed hazelnuts, and a hazelnut crisp biscuit. Mmmmmmm. It made the very nice dessert I received afterwards seem a bit disappointing by comparison – a chocolate soufflé with mint custard and a ball of Baileys icecream.The restaurant itself was nice and small, maybe 10 tables from memory. Meals were served in a variety of bowls and plates ranging from normal bowls, to pieces of slate or slices of tree trunk. The staff were very friendly but had odd accents.. by odd, I mean it took me a while to work it out and it didn’t click until I heard our very well-spoken waitress walk in to the kitchen and speak to Chef in broad Welsh tones.