I’m on Megane number 4 at the moment. I started off with a Renault 19 in 1999 as my first car, quickly replaced with a 1996 Megane in 2000. A few years after that I had a 2001 Megane Coupe, and now we have a Megane Scenic. I don’t know why… they’ve all had their problems (the second Megane’s main problem being that of a large lorry and a hedge). My Megane Coupe, as much as I liked it, suffered with electrical problems quite often – all 4 ignition coils failed at one point or another and I should have taken the hint from the RAC guys who always carried a spare one as they fail so often. The digital dash display also failed and had to be repaired. So why am I a little surprised to find that the electronic parking break has failed on my Scenic? It’s already had 3 out of 4 ignition coils fail so why not. What I wasn’t expecting is a bill from Renault for £660 covering (mostly) a very expensive replacement parking brake computer, labour, diagnostics and finally replacement cables to replace stretched ones which I’m told caused the failure in the first place.
This, I have to say is the final straw for me and my Renaults. I would like to state categorically right here, right now, in front of you readers to act as witnesses: I will never, ever, purchase another Renault. Ever. Not even if Nicole, taking a break from Vic and Bob, seductively adorns the bonnet clad in only a garlic themed bikini. Not even if they offered me a lifetime supply of Le Dairy Milk. Not even if it was pimped to the max with computers, gadgets and mouldy smelling cheese. With onions on a string. And a blue and white stripy jumper was supplied as a free accessory. I hereby call for a boycott of all things Renault, I mean, come on, they even try to cheat in F1. Or maybe they didn’t and their brakes just failed on the bend due to a faulty brake computer ho ho ho. So, no more va va voom. Stick it up your ABS. Who is with me?!?
Unless of course they give me lots of free access and accomodation at Disneyland Paris.

Ping was that the sound of the penny dropping Oli?
clio = poo!
garlic themed bikini?
Well I can solemnly swear I shall never purchase an ren’NO’!!!
Kinda helps that you can’t get them over here anyway, but YEAH I’M WITH YOU
So you won’t want to borrow the Clio again????
Darn it… I said ‘never purchase another Renault’ as opposed to never use another Renault, otherwise that would make it rather tricky to transport the family anywhere.